My last blog post was about our need to be honest about how we are and that we shouldn’t have to pretend to be okay. After posting it, I had to go out to a meeting where people asked me how I was and I instinctively said ‘Fine thanks’.
The truth is though that I’m not fine, I’m really tired and am feeling more worn down than usual through busyness. There is no big issue and there is nothing really wrong, but my over busyness has been affecting me.
So if I wasn’t fine, why would I say that I was?
Well, I was at a prayer meeting and whilst I did nearly say that I was really tired, I didn’t want the focus to be on me (incidentally, being at the prayer meeting really energized me!)
Also, although I’m tired, it’s really no big deal. I don’t especially need people to worry or to feel concerned for me and I certainly don’t need people fussing or asking me what the matter is.
I thought about this afterwards and in the two days since I have seen people and have chosen to say that I am quite tired and overloaded if they have asked how I was.
You will also be glad to know that my few days of manic activity is now at an end and I will be having a lighter day tomorrow before a day off on Friday. 🙂
I was quite disappointed with myself for being a hypocrite, but I was also pleased that I recognized and have dealt with the issue.
Christianity is based on grace! God loves us all and he forgives us for all of our wrongdoing and mistakes but his lavish grace shouldn’t be an excuse for us to sin more.
Should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more of his wonderful grace? Of course not! Since we have died to sin, how can we continue to live in it? (Romans 6.1-2)
Part of living as a follower of Jesus is identifying and turning away from areas of sin and hypocrisy in our lives. We need to choose with God’s help and power to not live in a sinful way. We choose to let God help us to find freedom.
What is God helping you to become free from?