The one where my wife left me

it's not fairMy sister-in-law and her family are visiting from New Zealand and Tracey has gone to stay with them in Somerset for a few days. My oldest son who has just finished his GCSE’s and my daughter who we home school have gone with her and I am home with our other two offspring. I decided to be quite adventurous for the first evening meal in our mini family and so we went to the hungry horse for some cheap cheerful and filling food. If you register on their website using this link then they will send me free money off vouchers. You can then generate a link and get free stuff yourself. Win, win or yum, yum as the case may be!

How do I feel about being at home as the only responsible adult? Well if I am honest I would rather not have to do all the cooking (although I have made a great start to it!) and cleaning as well as all the school runs. I could feel like I have a lot of extra work, but to be honest I’m more excited for my wife that she gets to spend time with her sister. When life is a little harder, it’s easy to mope rather than just to get on with things. It’s easy to look down, rather than to look up and to head forwards. If I was feeling sorry for myself I could reflect on the fact that I do help around the house anyway and I also do the school runs walks most days. Life is not so bad for me really if I have a good perspective and it is sobering to realize that there are lots of people who are worse off than me.

Tracey and her sister are having two days at the seaside and my amazing mother in law and brother-in-law (I think my father in law may be mostly in his shed?) are looking after 6 children between them. The love and kindness they are showing to Tracey and Julia is a wonderful example of what family should be.

How are you feeling about life today? What has discouraged you recently? Is it something that really matters? I guess our view of life depends what we are living for. If we are living just for just as easy a life as possible then it’s easy to be discouraged when we are looking after the kids all by ourselves or if we can’t watch what we want on TV or when we break a nail!

I have been looking forward to the new X-men film for some time now but I haven’t been able to see it yet and it’s looking likely I’ll have to wait for it to come out on DVD now. Why haven’t I seen it? Well I’m living my life, working hard and caring for my family and that hasn’t left me time to watch it. I did have a gap one afternoon last week and was going to go only for things to change as someone who had come to see me asked if they could stay and talk about something else as well. I am so glad that I chose to prioritize them over a desire to watch what is almost certainly an entertaining film. We talked about what matters and I was able to share some of my experience and thoughts on the issue they were facing which they said helped. Some things are just more important than our impulsive feelings.

So what are we living for and what is the most important to us? When I get upset about things that don’t really matter, do I have good enough friends around me who will tell me to stop being so daft? When I get upset about things that actually matter, do I have good enough friends around me to help support me? The answer to both those questions will possibly indicate how much we are willing to invest in relationships and will show us if friendships are a priority to us or not.

I’ve come to realize that finding general fulfilment in life is so much more important and beneficial than just feeling good in a moment. Feeling good lasts for a moment or two, but fulfilment is about satisfaction in life and with life. The need for every moment to feel more exciting than the last leads to a rollercoaster existence emotionally rather than a grass is greener where you water itfulfilled life which leads to general happiness. The grass isn’t greener on the other side, the grass is greener where you water it.

My wife has left me (but she says she will come back), I didn’t watch X-men yet and actually there are other more serious things that are making life hard, but despite all this I feel fulfilled and for that I give thanks to God.

 

 

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About honestaboutmyfaith

Hi, my name is Graeme and I’m married to a very patient wife. We have 4 children, 2 rabbits, a terrapin (and not a lot of peace and quiet!). I’m a Baptist Minister who is especially interested in making Church accessible to people who have no church background and also in how we disciple people in order to equip them to live out their faith in the 21st Century. I am also a member of the Eastern Baptist Association's Council with responsibility for Mission Strategy.
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